1 00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:03,344 [Theme music] 2 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:18,183 Theme song: Love, exciting and new-- 3 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:26,648 come aboard, we're expecting you. 4 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:37,615 And love, life's sweetest reward, let it flow-- 5 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:42,134 it floats back to you. 6 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:50,088 The love boat soon will be making another run. 7 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:58,975 The love boat promises something for everyone. 8 00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:04,398 Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance. 9 00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:14,027 And love won't hurt anymore. 10 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:22,495 It's an open smile on a friendly shore. 11 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:27,882 It's love. 12 00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:28,512 Welcome aboard. 13 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,928 It's love. 14 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:59,240 An actual cruise, I still can't believe it. 15 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:03,037 Well, it's just another way of saying I love you. 16 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:06,794 Peter, you're the best. 17 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,546 Well, that's why I love you-- 18 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:09,548 you've got such great taste in men. 19 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,259 Lucy! 20 00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,549 I got your letter. 21 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:13,932 Doc. 22 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,008 I'm here as promised. 23 00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:16,974 Hey. 24 00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,393 This is Peter Welch, Dr. Adam bricker. 25 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:19,892 - Hi. - Hi, doc. 26 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:20,563 Nice to meet you. 27 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,310 A pleasure. 28 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:22,642 Doc's an old buddy. 29 00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,055 Hey. 30 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:26,443 I'm not that old. 31 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,771 Ah, excuse me, i-- 32 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:28,766 I see an old friend too. 33 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,727 Nice to meet you, doc. 34 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,107 A pleasure. 35 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,743 Is-- is that the guy who wrote me about, the one you're 36 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,570 planning to marry? 37 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,664 Uh-huh. 38 00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:37,699 Oh, isn't it something? 39 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:40,952 I've got the most eligible bachelor in town. 40 00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:44,535 Yeah, he'll probably stay that way too. 41 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,252 All I ask in return is that you 42 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,631 join me for a tropical drink. 43 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:52,509 Doc, you've become suspicious in your old age. 44 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,129 Talk to you later. 45 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:54,915 Ok. 46 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,472 Man, was I embarrassed, a complete stranger. 47 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,217 Hey, come on. 48 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:04,308 Let's get settled in. 49 00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:07,062 This looks like it's going to be a great cruise. 50 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,276 - Hi. - Hi. 51 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,320 Hello. 52 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:18,113 Is this where you check in or whatever you do? 53 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,487 Only if you want to be on a ship going to Mexico. 54 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,615 Oh, we do. 55 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,661 We really do. 56 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,834 I'm Terry Gibson and this is Monica James-- 57 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:26,374 I mean my wife. 58 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,456 Monica is my wife. 59 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,291 Yeah, we're married. 60 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,125 Yeah. 61 00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:35,970 That's why I said, like, my wife, because we're married. 62 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,339 Yes, of course. 63 00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:38,635 That's Mr. and Mrs.-- 64 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,138 Gibson. 65 00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:41,969 Of course, yes. 66 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,095 Oh. 67 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:47,021 You're in the honeymoon suite on the promenade deck. 68 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,351 Thank you very much, ma'am. 69 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,476 Yeah. 70 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:50,862 That's right up those stairs and through that door. 71 00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:51,939 Thank you. 72 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,783 Don't mention it. 73 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:55,489 Julie? 74 00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:56,648 - Yes. - Do you get the-- 75 00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:57,566 ahem. 76 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,994 I really appreciate your help. 77 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,782 This is for your trouble. 78 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,158 A quarter? 79 00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:08,414 I haven't been tipped a quarter since I had a paper route. 80 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,748 I have never been called ma'am. 81 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,593 I get the feeling that those two shouldn't 82 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,339 be in the honeymoon suite, that they should be 83 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:14,920 on a playground roller skating. 84 00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:17,094 (Exasperated) Ma'am. 85 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,473 He called me ma'am. 86 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,345 Eleanor! 87 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,233 Oh, merrill. 88 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,190 Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. 89 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,360 Welcome back. 90 00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,018 Oh. 91 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,686 You're looking terrific. 92 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,235 Where's-- 93 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:37,988 we're divorced. 94 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,529 It just became final. 95 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:43,202 Oh, I'm sorry. 96 00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:44,702 No, that's not true. 97 00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,704 I'm not sorry. 98 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,326 This is my celebration. 99 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,123 Oh, merrill. 100 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:54,457 I've been dying to see you. 101 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:58,384 Dinner, my table, tonight. 102 00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,804 I'd love it. 103 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:06,721 Looks like Eleanor's back for another cruise. 104 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,056 Think she's got a case of "captain-itis?" 105 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,892 Oh no. 106 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:14,557 She's just here to see-- 107 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,897 an old friend. 108 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,864 [Ship horn] 109 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,905 [Chatter] 110 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:47,723 Gopher: Goodnight. 111 00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:48,095 Mr. Smith. 112 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,021 Yes, sir? 113 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,139 I need your help. 114 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:51,845 You name it. 115 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,024 You got it. - Thank you. 116 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:53,902 Mm-hmm. 117 00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,228 It's a delicate situation involving 118 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,023 a couple of young lovers. 119 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,476 I just received this telegram. 120 00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:01,066 We've booked a young couple into the honeymoon suite. 121 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:04,452 Their names are Terry Gibson and Monica James. 122 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,320 They are not married. 123 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:07,117 Not married? 124 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:07,780 Oh gosh. 125 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,037 They're teenagers. 126 00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,118 They're not even close to being 18. 127 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,004 Oh. 128 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,581 Well, sir, what can we do about that? 129 00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,375 I mean, if they paid their fares and they're not 130 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,289 causing a mutiny or anything-- 131 00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:20,457 I mean-- well sir, we can't be the social conscience 132 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,216 of the world. 133 00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,218 The girl's father is in London. 134 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,220 Until he gets back, he wants us to keep them on board. 135 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:27,723 Mm-hmm. 136 00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,474 Apart. 137 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,886 Oh, "ah-part." 138 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:32,644 Mm-hmm. 139 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:33,635 Oh. 140 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:34,636 Well, how, sir? 141 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,477 I mean, I can't move in with them. 142 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:37,442 No. 143 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,982 As you so often have told me, Mr. Smith, 144 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,186 that's why you get the big money. 145 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,526 Sir, that is not fair. 146 00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:45,492 It is not right. 147 00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,951 I will not be put in this position. 148 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:52,293 This telegram is signed Arnold James. 149 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,000 No skin off my nose. 150 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:54,660 It is if you look at your paycheck. 151 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,707 Hmm? 152 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,131 Arnold James is the treasurer and executive vise 153 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,799 president of the line. 154 00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,418 He signs your check. 155 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,546 So what cabin did you say these delinquents are in, sir? 156 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:30,028 You know, it-- it seems funny being alone and not worrying 157 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,536 about your folks walking in or some cop 158 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,368 shining his light in the car. 159 00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:35,123 Yeah. 160 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:43,045 Maybe we should go have dinner in the dining room. 161 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,799 But I've already ordered everything. 162 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,893 I guess I'm a little nervous. 163 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,929 This is kind of like our wedding night, 164 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,314 except without the wedding. 165 00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,060 Well, you know, our folks wouldn't let us get married. 166 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,482 They'd probably kill us. 167 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,897 Sidney, if this is for the honeymoon suite, take it back. 168 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,987 I do not want them eating in their cabin. 169 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:10,572 Do you realize what a candlelight 170 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,076 dinner could lead to? 171 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:13,989 Gas? 172 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:14,786 Go. 173 00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,421 You're not sorry you came, are you? 174 00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:24,132 No. 175 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,422 [Knock at door] 176 00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:29,094 That must be our dinner. 177 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,255 Sorry to interrupt-- lifeboat drill. 178 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,255 Monica: Now? 179 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:33,966 At night? 180 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,305 It's the best time. 181 00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:37,269 Dark outside-- makes it tougher to find the boats. 182 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:37,930 Ok. 183 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,137 Put these on. 184 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,437 Don't take them off till I tell you to. 185 00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:41,349 Don't tie them too tight. 186 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,477 You might be wearing them all night. 187 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:43,943 Wouldn't want you to cut off your circulation. 188 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,073 All night? 189 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,729 What kind of cruise ship is this? 190 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:47,607 A very safe one. 191 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:48,653 Ok. 192 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,106 I want you, stern station, lifeboat 12-- you, 193 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:54,196 bow station, lifeboat 1. 194 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,243 Can't we be together? 195 00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,536 Sorry. 196 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,369 International rule-- husbands and wives may not be together, 197 00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,254 unless they're left-handed. 198 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,670 You're not left-handed, are you? 199 00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,629 Good. 200 00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:03,748 Wouldn't want to make a stupid mistake. 201 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,804 Do not leave your station until I contact you, 202 00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,168 or until the bosun's mate gives you the code word-- 203 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,545 (screeching) Creek-creek. 204 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,302 Creek-creek? 205 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,553 Don't question that. 206 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,554 The ways of the sea might seem strange to you landlubbers, 207 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,466 but believe me, we know what we're doing. 208 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:17,684 - Well, what about dinner? - No, thanks. 209 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:17,805 I've had mine. Let's go. 210 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,818 All right. 211 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:27,979 Well, what else did Eleanor say? 212 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,397 Oh, nothing really, just that this was going to be 213 00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,107 the most romantic cruise ever. 214 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:33,527 Mm-hmm. 215 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:33,994 And then-- 216 00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,283 and then what? 217 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,446 And then she just kind of sighed. 218 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,945 Well, what do you mean kind of? 219 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,867 How kind of did she sigh? 220 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:47,997 Well, it was sort of like, um, [deep sigh] 221 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:53,297 [Clears throat] She went [deep sigh] about me? 222 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,554 Who else? 223 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,675 Julie, you've just made me the happiest man in the world. 224 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,973 Well maybe we should have dinner together. 225 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:04,769 Here we go. 226 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,024 Compliments of the gentleman. 227 00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,106 Oh. 228 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,320 And he definitely is a gentleman. 229 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,321 Thank you. 230 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:15,323 Do you always give such big tips? 231 00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:18,486 Buy low, sell high. 232 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,826 I'm a stock broker, Russell Evans. 233 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,161 Oh, hi. 234 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,997 I'm Eleanor gardner. 235 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,042 I hope you don't mind the send over a drink routine. 236 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,627 It's just this cruise is very short. 237 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:33,052 And then I see this very attractive woman, so i-- 238 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:36,262 so you resort to a very corny routine. 239 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,314 It's also very successful. 240 00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:42,138 You even got the drink right. 241 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:46,234 Only margaritas have salt around the rim of the glass. 242 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,192 Oh, a detective. 243 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,272 In my business, you have to be-- 244 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,318 detective, economist, clairvoyant, 245 00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:55,451 mathematician, psychologist. 246 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:56,529 Oh, oh, ho, ho-- 247 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,324 hold it. 248 00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:01,867 Up to mathematician you were doing just fine. 249 00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,212 I just divorced a psychologist. 250 00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:06,578 Did I say psychologist? 251 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:07,575 I meant cyclist. 252 00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:08,826 [Laughing] 253 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,958 You've got to keep fit. 254 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,756 The other thing we stockbrokers do 255 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,929 is wine and dine our clients. 256 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,429 I was kind of hoping that you'd let me wine 257 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:18,931 and dine you, Eleanor. 258 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,971 Oh no. 259 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,925 You're just hoping to sell me 100 shares of IBM. 260 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,807 No way. 261 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:30,484 I was just hoping to give you one share of tlc. 262 00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:32,904 Tlc? 263 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:33,033 Tender loving care. 264 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:42,325 I'll drink to that. 265 00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:46,501 Then it's dinner tonight? 266 00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:47,790 Mm. 267 00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,463 Oh, I'm sorry. 268 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,003 I've been invited to the captain's table. 269 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,127 Oh. 270 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,304 Right this way, please. 271 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,303 Here we are. 272 00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,144 Hope you like your table. 273 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,560 Like it? 274 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,019 I love it. 275 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,019 I'm surrounded by beauty. 276 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,811 You say the nicest things. 277 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,314 But will you pay this much attention 278 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,726 to me after we're married? 279 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,025 More. 280 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,439 How soon do I find out? 281 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:17,987 Oh, I don't know. 282 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:18,700 We're having such a good time. 283 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:22,409 And there's plenty of time, hmm? 284 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,951 Right. 285 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,204 Of course there is. 286 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:32,836 Peter, I'd like to set the date. 287 00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,343 If we're getting married, I'd like to know when. 288 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:41,393 I have a little something to calm your frazzled nerves. 289 00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,180 Oh, Peter. 290 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,394 I feel so foolish. 291 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,399 A diamond. 292 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:58,902 [Gasps] Peter, it's fabulous. 293 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:00,776 Oh, put it on me. 294 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:01,573 Sure. 295 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:16,961 To my love with all my love. 296 00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,924 Oh, merrill. 297 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:04,295 I've been thinking about you so much since the divorce. 298 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:08,175 And I've wanted to talk to you. 299 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,274 You were so kind when I was going through all 300 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,809 that nonsense with Todd. 301 00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:14,062 Well, it's all over now. 302 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,322 Oh, merrill. 303 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:26,119 It's so scary being a single woman again at my age. 304 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,868 28 isn't that old. 305 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,620 [Laughter] 306 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,913 I feel 15. 307 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:39,086 I feel giddy and excited, and I don't trust my own feelings. 308 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,719 I-- I haven't felt this way in so long. 309 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:49,353 What-- what I really want is to be 310 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:56,770 able to say yes-- yes to life, yes to all the good things, yes 311 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,484 to love. 312 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,895 Then say it. 313 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,525 It's that simple? 314 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,322 Try it. 315 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,994 You'll see. 316 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,283 Oh, merrill. 317 00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:12,866 You see, that's-- that's what I needed, your encouragement 318 00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:13,793 and your wisdom. 319 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:17,671 Thank you for sharing that with me. 320 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,540 I'd like to be sharing the rest of the evening with you 321 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,497 too. 322 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,456 Oh thank you, merrill. 323 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:21,995 That would be nice. 324 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,877 But you know what? 325 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:35,274 I have accepted a date to go dancing in the acapulco lounge. 326 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:41,151 And afterwards, thanks to you, I might even say yes. 327 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,069 Goodnight, merrill. 328 00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:08,631 Sidney! 329 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,847 What do you mean they're back in the honeymoon suite? 330 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,059 Listen. 331 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:16,138 You are paid to deliver food, not be a shipboard cupid. 332 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,399 I know you two old friends want to dance. 333 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:32,736 But we're back soon. 334 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:36,075 That's the slickest handoff I've seen since the super bowl. 335 00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,751 For heaven's sake, he's only dancing with Julie. 336 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,501 Oh. 337 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,671 Knock it off, doc. 338 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:42,250 Look. 339 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,294 He gave me this tonight. 340 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:44,247 Hmm. 341 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,126 Doesn't that prove something? 342 00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,593 What? 343 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:48,423 It's a diamond. 344 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,587 Oh. 345 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,086 I mean, it's not a ring. 346 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,467 But one of these days, he'll take me by the hand, 347 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,886 and we'll go see a judge, and that'll be that. 348 00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,385 Sure, like when we get to puerto vallarta? 349 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,476 Huh? 350 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:05,232 Well, instant weddings, no blood tests, no waiting. 351 00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,435 What a great idea. 352 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,525 He'll do it too. 353 00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,899 I'll be a bridesmaid. 354 00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,777 You're on. 355 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,784 [Knock at door] 356 00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,038 (Swedish accent) Would this be the [gibberish] ? 357 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,381 Honeymoon suite! 358 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,125 Oh yeah. 359 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:32,336 Americans-- [gibberish] 360 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:37,056 Now then, buddy boy, what color you see in here, huh? 361 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,639 We've got yellow. 362 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,984 We've got-- persimmon is nice. 363 00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:46,729 We got puce and avocado and tuna fish. 364 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:47,975 No, that's my lunch. 365 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,397 I don't understand. 366 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:49,735 Oh, well. 367 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,108 You see. 368 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,145 That's the accent. 369 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,067 Back home in Sweden, everybody talks like this. 370 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,487 And we don't understand you people. 371 00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,325 [Wheezing] 372 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:58,740 What are you doing? 373 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,077 Wheezing. 374 00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,668 Now, the first and number one thing we got to do is put 375 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:09,251 all the [gibberish] on the-- 376 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,008 the-- [gibberish] 377 00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:11,008 The what? 378 00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:14,089 The-- the furniture on the sleepy snooze. 379 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,336 But we're going to be sleeping here. 380 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:18,427 Not unless you want this here chair up your nose, buddy. 381 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:18,894 [Wheezing] 382 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:20,222 You're crazy. 383 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:21,767 No, no, no. 384 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,520 I am oomlaud-- 385 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,023 jorgens oomlaud. 386 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,395 Painting, that's only a hobby of mine. 387 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,153 Maybe you' know me better as a singer, huh? 388 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:35,066 (Singing) In the valley in the winter 389 00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:38,485 time, when the wind goes on the windowpanes, 390 00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:42,785 all the women in the vaudeville ride 391 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,171 velocipedes in the vestibules. 392 00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:48,539 [Soft jazz music] 393 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:57,932 Captain, how come you're letting 394 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:00,351 Eleanor dance with that guy? 395 00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:04,230 Remember that song, "whatever Lola wants, Lola gets?" 396 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,019 Yes, sir. 397 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,233 Same song, different name. 398 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,986 [Whistling] 399 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,698 Ow. 400 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:24,575 What happened? 401 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,713 I dropped the suitcase. 402 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,590 I guess my horoscope's out of whack. 403 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,248 I've been dropping things all month. 404 00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:32,957 Oh. 405 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:33,836 Oh. 406 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:38,472 Oh, lady, you are a knockout. 407 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,262 [Laughing] 408 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:47,935 And now, this way to the main event. 409 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,020 Oh, wait a minute. 410 00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,065 Honey, I just thought of a wonderful idea. 411 00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,229 What? 412 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,027 Tomorrow we dock in puerto vallarta. 413 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:55,780 Hey! 414 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,451 Great town. 415 00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,608 Yes. 416 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,867 And we can get married there. 417 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:01,829 Married? 418 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,619 Oh, honey, in some dull foreign village-- 419 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,162 why wait? 420 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,706 Why rush? 421 00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,670 I'm beginning to wonder if you're serious about this 422 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,131 or not. 423 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:16,471 Ha, ha-- come here. 424 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,048 I'll show you serious. 425 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:19,644 No. 426 00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,298 Listen. 427 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,886 I want to settle this right now. 428 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,771 Are we getting married or not? 429 00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:26,809 Well, but-- 430 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:38,487 Lucy, we can't get married. 431 00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:43,412 It wouldn't to be fair to you. 432 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:47,412 I-- I have this tropical disease. 433 00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:50,496 It's called kuru. 434 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,002 What? 435 00:20:52,084 --> 00:21:02,054 Kuru-- capital k, u-r-u. I'm already losing my appetite. 436 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:05,215 In about a month, I'll be getting really weak. 437 00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:06,965 Then it's the hospital. 438 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:10,887 And then it's the box city. 439 00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:15,150 Peter. 440 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:18,612 You never said a word. 441 00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,574 Why should you be miserable too? 442 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,824 Oh, Peter. 443 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:23,866 We have to do something. 444 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:24,449 No. 445 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,703 It's too late, darling. 446 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,496 I only have six months left on my warranty. 447 00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:41,934 Then-- then I get a recall to that big people 448 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,299 plant in the sky. 449 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,181 Then marry me tomorrow. 450 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:49,845 At least we'll have six months. 451 00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,483 I couldn't. 452 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,601 I'm not going to be a pretty sight. 453 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,358 Oh, Peter. 454 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,900 I feel so helpless. 455 00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,443 What can I do? 456 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:08,740 There is-- there is one thing you can do. 457 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,247 Anything. 458 00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:15,249 You can come to bed. 459 00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:18,053 It makes me feel better having you next to me. 460 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:24,588 I-- I forget what lies ahead. 461 00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,716 Oh, Peter. 462 00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:27,473 Oh. 463 00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:43,401 [Snoring] 464 00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:49,530 Mr. Oomlaud. 465 00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:54,075 Mr. Oomlaud! 466 00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:55,504 Yeah, yeah. 467 00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:56,382 I'm painting. 468 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,128 I'm painting. 469 00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:57,959 Don't call the union. 470 00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,043 I'm painting. 471 00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:01,377 Are you going to be much longer? 472 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,423 Longer? 473 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,506 Well, I think I passed my peak growing period. 474 00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:08,302 I'll never make six foot, by god. 475 00:23:08,386 --> 00:23:11,636 But truth is stranger than fiction, young feller. 476 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,683 That's a quote from my last book, 477 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:17,477 "the inner oomlaud, autobiography of jorgens 478 00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:19,062 oomlaud" as old to Pete hamill. 479 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:23,567 We are getting out of here. 480 00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:25,952 I am too young to lose my marbles. 481 00:23:26,029 --> 00:23:27,159 Oh no. 482 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,739 You never too young to lose your marples. 483 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:30,655 Marbles-- marbles. 484 00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,332 Oh. 485 00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:35,000 I thought you say marples. 486 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,250 Marple is a Scandinavian wart. 487 00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:40,632 I lose mine when I kissed the gruda. 488 00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:41,550 The what? 489 00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:41,878 - Toad. - Oh. 490 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,512 Yeah. 491 00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:45,758 She was a blind date. 492 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:46,801 Yech. 493 00:23:46,883 --> 00:23:49,053 But that's another story. 494 00:23:49,136 --> 00:23:49,796 I tell it to you. 495 00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:52,306 You got maybe two, three hours? 496 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:53,769 She was so ugly this one, she has 497 00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:57,849 to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink, by god. 498 00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:00,606 [Laughing] 499 00:24:10,907 --> 00:24:12,697 No wedding? 500 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:15,124 And I was so looking forward to being a bridesmaid. 501 00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:17,713 I had my gown all picked out and everything. 502 00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:20,379 It's no laughing matter, doc. 503 00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:23,458 We're not getting married because-- 504 00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:27,125 because Peter only has six months to live. 505 00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:28,715 What? 506 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,720 He's got some rare tropical disease called kuru. 507 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,474 Kuru? 508 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,766 [Laughing] 509 00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:41,936 I didn't know he was into cannibalism. 510 00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:42,902 Cannibalism? 511 00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:44,901 Well, that's the only way you can get 512 00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:48,153 kuru, by eating your ancestors. 513 00:24:48,236 --> 00:24:49,946 You mean he lied to me? 514 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,660 Unless he's been sneaking off to new 515 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:53,580 Guinea for gourmet weekends. 516 00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:56,578 I'll get him for this, doc, if it's the last thing I do. 517 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,918 [Interposing voices] 518 00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:09,927 Oh, merrill. 519 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:12,008 I'm so glad I found you. 520 00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:14,103 I want you to meet my friend. 521 00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:15,929 Russell Evans, this is captain merrill stubing. 522 00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:18,234 How do you do? 523 00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:21,018 Captain, Eleanor's told me so much about you, some of it 524 00:25:21,102 --> 00:25:22,772 good. 525 00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,274 Quite a ship you've got here full 526 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:27,066 of beautiful, exciting women. 527 00:25:27,150 --> 00:25:31,780 This trip is becoming a very rewarding experience. 528 00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:35,033 Well, if you'll excuse me, we're going into puerto vallarta. 529 00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:37,036 I want to check on our reservations. 530 00:25:37,118 --> 00:25:41,828 Can't keep a doll like Eleanor waiting in line for lunch. 531 00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:42,825 Oh. 532 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:43,376 Oh. 533 00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:46,208 Isn't he terrific? 534 00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:47,054 Yeah. 535 00:25:47,128 --> 00:25:47,958 Yeah. 536 00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:52,426 [Sighs] He's very smooth. 537 00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,969 A little too smooth, if you ask me. 538 00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:56,933 Ah, you're being protective. 539 00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:58,773 That's nice. 540 00:25:58,848 --> 00:26:01,098 I'm not being protective. 541 00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:01,944 I'm being jealous. 542 00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:07,725 Oh? 543 00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:14,776 I thought you came on this cruise to see me. 544 00:26:14,864 --> 00:26:15,124 Oh merrill, I did. 545 00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:16,698 I did. 546 00:26:16,783 --> 00:26:18,743 Oh, but-- well-- 547 00:26:21,579 --> 00:26:27,789 oh well, not the way you thought. 548 00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:30,507 Oh, merrill. 549 00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:33,428 Have I lost a friend? 550 00:26:33,508 --> 00:26:36,218 Hmm. 551 00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:40,933 Do you remember what we once said to each other? 552 00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,766 Whatever becomes of us, we'll be friends first-- 553 00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:47,862 (together) Last and always. 554 00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,319 Thanks, merrill. 555 00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:11,094 We'll order champagne and lock the door. 556 00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:12,761 And nothing can ruin our afternoon. 557 00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:23,980 Oh no. 558 00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,729 You know that champagne? 559 00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:30,230 Looks like we're going to have it in the bar. 560 00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:31,645 With our luck, they won't serve 561 00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:33,233 us because we're under age. 562 00:27:45,538 --> 00:27:47,708 Darling, I talked to Adam. 563 00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:49,751 You have to let him examine you. 564 00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:50,384 He might be able to find something 565 00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:54,090 everybody else missed. 566 00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:57,722 Please-- for my sake? 567 00:27:57,801 --> 00:28:00,301 Oh, Lucy. 568 00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:01,637 I can't have my hopes raised again. 569 00:28:01,721 --> 00:28:05,681 It's-- it's too painful. 570 00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:09,227 But you deserve the best that medical science has to offer. 571 00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:13,272 And I'm going to make sure you get everything you deserve. 572 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:13,728 Hey, there. 573 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,897 You poor guy. 574 00:28:15,985 --> 00:28:18,405 Well, let's see what we can do. 575 00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:19,908 Doc-- doc, I warn you. 576 00:28:19,989 --> 00:28:24,619 My disease has very, very subtle symptoms, almost invisible. 577 00:28:24,702 --> 00:28:28,462 Not with the right instruments. 578 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:30,000 God, what is that stuff? 579 00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,093 It's mostly painless. 580 00:28:32,168 --> 00:28:35,298 Take your shirt off and hang it in the next room. 581 00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:36,380 Please, Peter. 582 00:28:36,464 --> 00:28:38,094 I don't want you to die. 583 00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:51,347 Fantastic. 584 00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:54,318 Now, I can't ethically use any of that stuff on him. 585 00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:56,319 Oh, can't you make him think he really is sick? 586 00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:57,191 I can't do that either. 587 00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,817 But I can scare the beans out of him 588 00:28:59,904 --> 00:29:01,494 and maybe make him come clean. 589 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,663 (Loudly) I was thinking i'd like to try some traction for 590 00:29:04,742 --> 00:29:07,952 about, oh, two or three weeks, and then ice 591 00:29:08,037 --> 00:29:10,707 baths-- yes, three ice baths a day. 592 00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:12,830 Oh, no, no, no, doc. 593 00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:13,537 It's hopeless. 594 00:29:13,626 --> 00:29:15,336 Believe me I have seen the best. 595 00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:16,800 You haven't seen anything yet? 596 00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:21,969 Ok. 597 00:29:28,349 --> 00:29:29,559 Ow! 598 00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:34,692 Oh, excessive sensitivity in the pectoral region. 599 00:29:34,772 --> 00:29:35,442 Hmm. 600 00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:43,617 [Laughing] Doc, honest, you're wasting your time. 601 00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:45,448 Just hold-- hold it, Peter. 602 00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:56,753 What is it? 603 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:01,512 Muscle spasms. 604 00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:09,718 Peter, I want you to lift this book with your arm 605 00:30:09,807 --> 00:30:11,557 straight out. 606 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:12,393 Do that. 607 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:13,187 Ok. 608 00:30:17,815 --> 00:30:21,355 How long have you had this weakness? 609 00:30:21,444 --> 00:30:22,704 Oh, I don't know, about a month or so. 610 00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:24,949 I keep dropping things all the time. 611 00:30:25,031 --> 00:30:28,371 Oh, I probably just pulled a muscle or something. 612 00:30:28,451 --> 00:30:31,251 Is it getting worse? 613 00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:33,999 Well, maybe. 614 00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,922 Yeah, I guess it is. 615 00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:41,211 Lucy, would you mind leaving us for just a little while? 616 00:30:41,297 --> 00:30:42,377 Sure, doc. 617 00:30:54,852 --> 00:30:58,022 Wasn't that a lot more fun than lunch in puerto vallarta? 618 00:30:58,106 --> 00:30:58,936 [Laughing] 619 00:31:02,777 --> 00:31:03,737 (Whispers) Oh yeah. 620 00:31:07,156 --> 00:31:08,196 Maybe we should skip dinner too. 621 00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:08,993 Mm-hmm? 622 00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:16,788 Oh, do you know, I never thought 623 00:31:16,874 --> 00:31:21,464 I could ever feel this way about a man again, ever? 624 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:22,666 Hey. Uh-uh. 625 00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:23,375 Uh-uh. 626 00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:24,634 Come on, now. 627 00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,466 Let's not ruin all this by getting serious. 628 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:27,511 Oh. 629 00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:31,184 I thought we both were serious. 630 00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:32,354 Look. 631 00:31:32,432 --> 00:31:34,102 We're here for a few days. 632 00:31:34,183 --> 00:31:36,643 Let's enjoy it before we get back to reality. 633 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:37,438 Reality? 634 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,610 Oh. 635 00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:44,819 I thought the words we said to each other were reality. 636 00:31:44,902 --> 00:31:47,992 I thought the way we felt about each other was reality. 637 00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:50,832 Oh, when we get back to la, I'm going to-- 638 00:31:50,908 --> 00:31:53,448 back in la, I have a wife and a little boy. 639 00:31:53,536 --> 00:31:55,116 That's my reality. 640 00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:03,545 Well, I can't be positive, but [sighs] 641 00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:06,970 It could be quite serious. 642 00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:07,680 All right, technically, it's called 643 00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:12,599 amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. 644 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:17,440 The common name is Lou gehrig's disease. 645 00:32:17,518 --> 00:32:19,848 I'm sorry. 646 00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:23,187 [Laughing] Oh, doc. 647 00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:24,034 Look, I saw that movie. 648 00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:24,728 Come on. 649 00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:26,187 Gary Cooper died from that. 650 00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,126 You know something? 651 00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,887 You really had me going there for a minute. 652 00:32:51,969 --> 00:32:52,759 I guess I had that coming, didn't I? 653 00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:55,595 Ok, look, I lied about being sick. 654 00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:56,892 And I got caught. 655 00:32:56,974 --> 00:32:59,814 It was the only way I could get Lucy off the marriage track. 656 00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:02,404 Peter, I'm a doctor. 657 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,530 I don't joke about things like this. 658 00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:05,978 Come on. 659 00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:06,647 Look, it's over. 660 00:33:06,734 --> 00:33:08,494 I've been paid back. 661 00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:23,876 Is there any cure? 662 00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:39,307 Oh god. 663 00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,732 [Sighs] 664 00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:45,114 It's ironic as hell, isn't it? 665 00:33:51,028 --> 00:33:52,488 Guess what? 666 00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:53,322 I'm really dying. 667 00:33:58,161 --> 00:33:59,371 Thank you! 668 00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:02,044 I never thought I'd be happy to know an unethical doctor. 669 00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:05,035 Doc? 670 00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:11,375 Doc? 671 00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:30,397 I'm glad we got our bed back. 672 00:34:30,485 --> 00:34:31,685 How'd you do it? 673 00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,068 Easy. 674 00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:34,824 I called the first officer and said I was the captain 675 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:37,066 and wanted the bed replaced. 676 00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:37,948 But how did he know you were the captain? 677 00:34:38,034 --> 00:34:41,254 Now, how did he know that I wasn't? 678 00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:42,499 Would you like some more? 679 00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:43,410 Mm-hmm. 680 00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,828 Well, it's just my luck. 681 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,707 Isaac would only sell us ginger ale. 682 00:34:48,795 --> 00:34:50,415 Can I tell you a secret? 683 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:51,915 Mm-hmm. 684 00:34:52,006 --> 00:34:55,836 The only time I ever had champagne, it made me sick. 685 00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,097 No kidding? 686 00:34:58,179 --> 00:34:59,259 Me too. 687 00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:02,227 I hate champagne. 688 00:35:02,308 --> 00:35:02,558 I love you. 689 00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,192 Terry. 690 00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:08,859 I love you a lot. 691 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,730 [Knock at door] 692 00:35:10,817 --> 00:35:11,777 Go away! 693 00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:12,689 Gopher: It's the deputy captain. 694 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,857 You'd better go get it. 695 00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:15,656 Oh. 696 00:35:22,328 --> 00:35:24,118 (Scottish accent) Good evening to you, sir. 697 00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:25,285 Yes? 698 00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,463 I wonder if I might have a wee moment of your time? 699 00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,211 Wee? 700 00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:29,212 Wee. 701 00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:30,803 Well, we-- i-- wee is an old Scottish term 702 00:35:30,878 --> 00:35:33,668 that we all Scottish use. 703 00:35:33,756 --> 00:35:35,126 What do you want? 704 00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:36,426 Ah, nothing much-- 705 00:35:36,509 --> 00:35:40,809 a wee cottage in the Dell, a wee toad stream, and also 706 00:35:40,888 --> 00:35:43,058 a wee Swiss bank account. 707 00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:45,230 My needs are simple. 708 00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:46,059 Look, mister. 709 00:35:46,143 --> 00:35:49,443 Deputy captain mcplenish. 710 00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:52,022 Look, is there something we can do to help you? 711 00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:56,568 The truth of the matter is I'm a very lonely man. 712 00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:58,164 And my doctor has told me if I don't talk 713 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,409 to people about my problems, there is 714 00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:03,582 no telling what I'll turn into. 715 00:36:03,661 --> 00:36:07,541 (Angrily) Would you please get out of here and leave us alone? 716 00:36:07,623 --> 00:36:10,083 Terry, there's no harm in listening. 717 00:36:10,167 --> 00:36:10,787 Oh. 718 00:36:10,877 --> 00:36:12,797 Thank you, Lassie. 719 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:17,929 Now then, why don't I just start at the beginning then? 720 00:36:18,009 --> 00:36:21,759 My great, great, great, great, great, great, great 721 00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:24,676 grandparents were druids. 722 00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:26,635 They lived at stonehenge. 723 00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:28,766 Julie, do me a favor and ask Mrs. Gardner 724 00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:29,903 to have dinner with me tonight. 725 00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:32,819 She can invite her friend too. 726 00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:34,609 Well, sir, her room steward mentioned she'd 727 00:36:34,692 --> 00:36:36,442 be dining in her cabin tonight. 728 00:36:36,527 --> 00:36:37,607 Oh. 729 00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:39,275 Well, she's probably tired from her day 730 00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:39,613 in puerto vallarta. 731 00:36:39,697 --> 00:36:41,117 No. 732 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:41,619 She and Mr. Evans got back at 2. 733 00:36:41,699 --> 00:36:43,279 Really? 734 00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:45,077 I didn't see them all afternoon. 735 00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:48,291 Uh, they probably went to the movie. 736 00:36:48,372 --> 00:36:49,122 There was no movie. 737 00:36:49,206 --> 00:36:50,076 Oh. 738 00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:51,286 Well, then maybe they went to the class 739 00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:53,375 in gingham hat making. 740 00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:55,671 Sir, why don't I go knock on her cabin door 741 00:36:55,755 --> 00:36:57,625 and see if maybe she's changed her mind? 742 00:36:57,715 --> 00:36:58,965 No, no. 743 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,680 Somehow I doubt that a dinner invitation will 744 00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:02,891 change her mind about anything. 745 00:37:10,519 --> 00:37:13,229 [Disco music] 746 00:37:18,527 --> 00:37:20,817 [Applause] 747 00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:43,756 I'm sorry this is happening to you. 748 00:37:46,305 --> 00:37:50,015 Why shouldn't he love all the girls he can? 749 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,061 I'd do the same thing. 750 00:37:52,144 --> 00:37:54,444 I really would. 751 00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:57,982 You're something really special, you know? 752 00:37:58,067 --> 00:37:59,987 Thanks. 753 00:38:00,069 --> 00:38:04,449 But if this is what special feels like, I'll take ordinary. 754 00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:11,828 Gopher: (Singing) La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, 755 00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:13,504 la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, 756 00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:16,042 la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! 757 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,337 Well, so much for the history of Scottish dance. 758 00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:19,801 Now back to the story. 759 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,880 Long ago, the poet robby burns was 760 00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:23,256 known for his use of iambic pentameter, 761 00:38:23,342 --> 00:38:27,102 which was a rare liquor made from used haggis 762 00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:28,969 and a dash of Heather. 763 00:38:29,056 --> 00:38:30,846 They drink a lot of it in tierra del fuego. 764 00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:32,523 Oh, what's that? 765 00:38:32,601 --> 00:38:33,231 Tierra del fuego. 766 00:38:33,310 --> 00:38:34,900 It's an area in South America. 767 00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:37,019 No, not that-- 768 00:38:37,106 --> 00:38:37,726 that smell. 769 00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:38,685 [Sniffing] 770 00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:42,244 It smells like smoke in the passageway. 771 00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:44,409 Smoke in the passageway! 772 00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:45,158 Goodnight. 773 00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:46,069 [Knock at door] 774 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,067 But I'm not finished yet. 775 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,488 Oh yes, you are. 776 00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:49,986 (Scottish accent) Give us a break. 777 00:38:50,077 --> 00:38:52,247 (Normal accent) Not only do I lose my job, 778 00:38:52,329 --> 00:38:54,709 I'm out 5 bucks for a fake beard. 779 00:38:54,790 --> 00:38:56,420 Hey, man. 780 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,710 Feed it three times a day. 781 00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:59,843 It will be your friend for life. 782 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:02,210 Is it housebroken? 783 00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:05,298 I thought we'd never get rid of him. 784 00:39:05,384 --> 00:39:06,054 I don't know. 785 00:39:06,135 --> 00:39:07,255 He was kind of fun. 786 00:39:07,344 --> 00:39:10,434 Did you love those stories he made up? 787 00:39:10,514 --> 00:39:12,524 No. 788 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:16,600 But I am going to love being alone with you. 789 00:39:16,687 --> 00:39:20,147 Um, do you want to change first? 790 00:39:20,232 --> 00:39:24,702 Or do you want me to change first? 791 00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:28,619 Or would you like some more ginger ale? 792 00:39:28,699 --> 00:39:31,789 Monica, what do you want to do? 793 00:39:36,373 --> 00:39:37,543 I want to be honest. 794 00:39:40,711 --> 00:39:43,881 I'm scared. 795 00:39:43,964 --> 00:39:46,014 I know that we love each other. 796 00:39:46,092 --> 00:39:50,012 [Inaudible] Does that make sense? 797 00:39:53,015 --> 00:39:56,845 It just seemed so romantic, going on a cruise. 798 00:39:59,438 --> 00:40:02,818 Going roller skating is romantic with you. 799 00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:06,990 Going for a walk, a baseball game. 800 00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:10,831 I really love you. 801 00:40:10,908 --> 00:40:11,618 I love you too. 802 00:40:20,126 --> 00:40:23,706 Now, I wonder if there's any place on this ship 803 00:40:23,796 --> 00:40:24,256 we can get a cheeseburger. 804 00:40:24,338 --> 00:40:26,298 And French fries. 805 00:40:26,382 --> 00:40:27,512 Yeah, and a milkshake. 806 00:40:27,591 --> 00:40:29,341 And some carrot cake. 807 00:40:29,426 --> 00:40:30,966 And another cheeseburger. 808 00:40:46,569 --> 00:40:48,569 Peter. 809 00:40:48,654 --> 00:40:54,704 The late, great Peter Welch sitting in the dark. 810 00:40:54,785 --> 00:40:56,035 Are you all right? 811 00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,200 Oh, ho, ho, ho-- 812 00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:58,828 tops. 813 00:40:58,914 --> 00:41:01,044 I'm in such great shape that I've been drinking all night, 814 00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,205 and I can't even get drunk. 815 00:41:17,474 --> 00:41:19,854 Why are you looking at me like that? 816 00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,728 You want to watch me fall apart? 817 00:41:30,237 --> 00:41:33,157 Ok. 818 00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:40,920 It's empty-- the dancing, the girls. 819 00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:43,328 Nothing is working. 820 00:41:43,417 --> 00:41:45,587 Do you want me to say it? Fine. 821 00:41:45,669 --> 00:41:46,499 I've been lousy to you. 822 00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,167 I've been a real prize. 823 00:41:51,675 --> 00:41:52,635 You've got every right to go. 824 00:42:00,017 --> 00:42:03,557 It would be good if you did. 825 00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:04,976 Go on, Lucy. 826 00:42:44,687 --> 00:42:45,397 Merrill? 827 00:42:51,026 --> 00:42:51,736 Come in. 828 00:42:57,324 --> 00:43:00,664 I didn't mean to disturb you. 829 00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:02,504 You're not disturbing me. 830 00:43:02,579 --> 00:43:05,499 I mean, Charlie here really pilots the ship. 831 00:43:08,085 --> 00:43:12,625 Besides, you never can disturb a friend. 832 00:43:26,729 --> 00:43:26,769 Beautiful, isn't it? 833 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,487 It's not that beautiful. 834 00:43:35,571 --> 00:43:37,031 [Sniffling] Oh, merrill. 835 00:43:37,114 --> 00:43:40,204 I'm such a dope. 836 00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:43,204 I picked another loser. 837 00:43:43,287 --> 00:43:46,957 Don't blame yourself. 838 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:53,051 Sometimes-- sometimes the timing isn't right. 839 00:43:53,130 --> 00:43:54,090 You're so good to me. 840 00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:56,223 I hurt you. 841 00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,390 And you're good to me. 842 00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:00,219 Why? 843 00:44:00,304 --> 00:44:03,814 I love you. 844 00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:04,641 Oh, merrill. 845 00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:21,655 Is there-- is there a chance we could start all over? 846 00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:31,923 As I said, sometimes the timing isn't right. 847 00:44:32,002 --> 00:44:34,592 Then it's too late. 848 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:40,802 No, too soon. 849 00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:47,016 You see, you're not Mrs. Eleanor gardner anymore. 850 00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:52,731 You're a new single person. 851 00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:54,775 And what happened with you and Russell 852 00:44:54,858 --> 00:44:57,778 was just a part of finding out who that person is. 853 00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:05,119 And that takes time. 854 00:45:05,202 --> 00:45:09,002 I guess so. 855 00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:18,261 Well, however long it takes, and whoever that person turns 856 00:45:18,340 --> 00:45:22,550 out to be, there will be this other person 857 00:45:22,636 --> 00:45:27,516 who happens to run a cruise ship who 858 00:45:27,599 --> 00:45:28,929 thinks she's the living end. 859 00:45:45,701 --> 00:45:48,001 [Ship horn] 860 00:45:56,086 --> 00:45:57,496 Well, good morning. 861 00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:58,208 Good morning. 862 00:45:58,297 --> 00:45:59,337 How's it going, Peter? 863 00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,093 Not bad. 864 00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:01,184 Not bad at all. 865 00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:02,048 Good. 866 00:46:02,134 --> 00:46:03,514 Good. 867 00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:06,184 Medically speaking, I'd say your good spirits significantly 868 00:46:06,263 --> 00:46:07,263 improve the prognosis. 869 00:46:07,347 --> 00:46:08,717 Come again, doc? 870 00:46:08,807 --> 00:46:11,517 Oh, I think he's telling us that happiness 871 00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:12,522 is the best medicine. 872 00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:13,603 Yeah. 873 00:46:13,687 --> 00:46:15,557 But I can't charge as much if I say it that way. 874 00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:20,693 Best of luck. 875 00:46:20,777 --> 00:46:22,147 Thank you very much, doc. 876 00:46:22,237 --> 00:46:23,107 Bye, doc. 877 00:46:28,076 --> 00:46:29,196 You there. 878 00:46:29,286 --> 00:46:30,446 Yes, sir? 879 00:46:30,537 --> 00:46:32,077 Assistant purser burl Smith at your service. 880 00:46:32,164 --> 00:46:33,964 James, Arnold James. 881 00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:35,211 Ah, Mr. James, sir. 882 00:46:35,292 --> 00:46:37,592 Listen, it's not my fault. I did my darndest. 883 00:46:37,669 --> 00:46:39,879 Oh, I assume you're referring to the request 884 00:46:39,963 --> 00:46:41,383 I made of captain stubing. 885 00:46:41,465 --> 00:46:43,375 And I assume when someone says they did their darndest, 886 00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:45,547 they failed their darndest. 887 00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:46,716 Is that true? 888 00:46:46,803 --> 00:46:48,393 Well, I wouldn't put it like that, sir. 889 00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:48,972 Oh. 890 00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:50,886 How would you put it? 891 00:46:50,974 --> 00:46:52,894 Could I get back to you on that? 892 00:46:52,976 --> 00:46:53,886 Dad. 893 00:46:53,977 --> 00:46:54,647 Monica. 894 00:46:54,728 --> 00:46:55,398 I am very disappointed in you. 895 00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:57,399 Nothing happened. 896 00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:59,111 And I thought you were smarter than this. 897 00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:00,281 Nothing happened. 898 00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:02,239 I can't tell you how your mother's taking all this. 899 00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:03,069 Nothing happened. 900 00:47:03,153 --> 00:47:03,993 What? 901 00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:04,911 Nothing happened. 902 00:47:04,988 --> 00:47:06,108 Stay out of-- 903 00:47:06,198 --> 00:47:08,988 no? 904 00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:11,866 Oh, I don't know why your mother doesn't trust you. 905 00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:15,374 I, for one, certainly have the greatest beliefs in 906 00:47:15,457 --> 00:47:16,997 your maturity and your wisdom. 907 00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:18,754 Come on, children. 908 00:47:18,835 --> 00:47:21,585 I don't understand why people don't trust teenagers. 909 00:47:24,716 --> 00:47:26,216 Give my best to captain mcplenish. 910 00:47:26,301 --> 00:47:27,931 Hmm? 911 00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:29,101 And Mr. Oomlaud. 912 00:47:29,179 --> 00:47:29,889 Who? 913 00:47:35,477 --> 00:47:36,437 Walk you to your car? 914 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:37,520 No. 915 00:47:37,604 --> 00:47:40,484 I'm this new independent woman, remember? 916 00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:42,476 Yeah. 917 00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:43,108 Well. 918 00:47:43,193 --> 00:47:45,743 See ya. 919 00:47:45,821 --> 00:47:46,531 Yeah. 920 00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:55,077 Goodbye. 921 00:47:55,163 --> 00:47:59,083 Bye. 922 00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:01,457 Merrill? 923 00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:02,875 Yeah? 924 00:48:02,963 --> 00:48:03,013 Walk me to my car. 925 00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:19,944 [Theme music]